1. Take time every day to appreciate
what’s right in the world and in your life.
Research scientists at the Institute of HeartMath have discovered that
generating feelings of gratitude, on purpose, reduces the amount of
damaging stress hormones in your body. And, adopting a habit of appreciation
sets up a positive self-fulfilling prophecy - since you are in the practice
of identifying things to appreciate, you are more likely to notice those
things.
The HeartMath Solution, Doc Childre, Howard Martin
2. Increase your feeling word vocabulary.
Most people have a very limited vocabulary for emotion, e.g. love,
hate, fear, etc. Getting more accurate in naming and expressing your
feelings helps you know yourself and connect better to others.
Emotional Literacy, Rob Bocchicino
3. Be your own best friend.
Think of the advice you give a dear friend in a difficult time - and
take that advice yourself! Eat well, exercise, relax, play, avoid
cigarettes and alcohol. These practices set up the conditions in your
life that will make it easier to be emotionally competent.
Feeling Good, David Burns, M.D.
4. Listen with your heart.
Creating an emotional connection by sincere listening has positive
physical, mental, and emotional benefits for both the speaker and
the listener. When you are completely attentive to what someone else
is saying, your blood pressure drops.
The General Theory of Love, Thomas Lewis, M.D., Fari Amini,
M.D., Richard Lannon, M.D.
5. Talk back to yourself.
That negative voice in your head can be quite convincing – persuading
you to judge others, be pessimistic, etc. pulling in all the destructive
feelings that go along with those destructive thoughts. You can create
a louder, more persuasive voice that helps you find an equally believable,
more optimistic viewpoint. You’ll be more likely to cut others
some slack, you’ll see more options, and you’ll feel better!
Learned Optimism, Martin Seligman, Ph.D.
6. Tune in to your body.
Notice where and when you feel different feelings. Emotions are a
source of information and paying attention to what you feel in your
body is a good way to access that information. If you don’t
know why you feel certain feelings, ask your body, e.g. “Why
do I feel a pain in my neck?” “What’s this shoulder
ache about?”
Raising Your Emotional Intelligence, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.
7. Smile more.
Scientists all the way back to Charles Darwin have identified that
different facial ex-pressions have corresponding feelings associated
with them. So, if you want to feel better, turn on a smile and wait
for good feelings to come along!
Insights
