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Ten Tips for Successful Negotiating
The ability to negotiate successfully is crucial for survival in
today's changing business world. Negotiation is fun if you know what
you're doing. So for all you busy execs, here are Ed Brodow's Ten Tips
for Successful Negotiating:
- Develop "negotiation consciousness." Successful negotiators are
assertive and challenge everything. They know that everything is
negotiable.
"Challenge" means not taking things at face value. It means thinking
for yourself. You must be able to make up your own mind, as opposed to
believing everything you are told. On a practical level, this means
you have the right to question the asking price of that new car. It
also means you have an obligation to question everything you read in
the newspaper or hear on CNN. You cannot negotiate unless you are
willing to challenge the validity of the opposing position.
Being assertive means asking for what you want and refusing to take
"no" for an answer. Practice expressing your feelings without anxiety
or anger. Let people know what you want in a non-threatening way.
Practice 'I' statements. For example, instead of saying, "You
shouldn't do that," try substituting, "I don't feel comfortable when
you do that."
Note that there is a difference between being assertive and being
aggressive. You are assertive when you take care of your own interests
while maintaining respect for the interests of others. When you see to
your own interests with a lack of regard for other people's interests,
you are aggressive. Being assertive is part of negotiation
consciousness.
- Become a good listener. Negotiators are detectives. They ask
probing questions and then shut up. The other negotiator will tell you
everything you need to know - all you have to do is listen.
Many conflicts can be resolved easily if we learn how to listen. The
catch is that listening is the forgotten art. We are so busy making
sure that people hear what we have to say that we forget to listen.
You can become an effective listener by allowing the other person to
do most of the talking. Follow the 70/30 Rule -- listen 70 percent of
the time, and talk only 30 percent of the time. Encourage the other
negotiator to talk by asking lots of open-ended questions -- questions
that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."
- Be prepared. The Boy (and Girl) Scouts were right. Gather as much
pertinent information prior to the negotiation. What are their needs?
What pressures do they feel? What options do they have? Doing your
homework is vital to successful negotiation.
- Aim high. People who aim higher do better. If you expect more,
you'll get more. Successful negotiators are optimists. A proven
strategy for achieving higher results is opening with an extreme
position. Sellers should ask for more than they expect to receive, and
buyers should offer less than they are prepared to pay.
- Be patient. This is very difficult for Americans. We want to get it
over with. Whoever is more flexible about time has the advantage. Your
patience can be devastating to the other negotiator if they are in a
hurry.
- Focus on satisfaction. Help the other negotiator feel satisfied.
Satisfaction means that their basic interests have been fulfilled.
Don't confuse basic interests with positions: Their position is what
they say they want; their basic interest is what they really need to
get.
- Don't make the first move. The best way to find out if the other
negotiator's aspirations are low is to induce them to open first. They
may ask for less than you think. If you open first, you may give away
more than is necessary.
- Don't accept the first offer. If you do, the other negotiator will
think they could have done better. (It was too easy.) They will be
more satisfied if you reject the first offer -- because when you
eventually say "yes," they will conclude that they have pushed you to
your limit.
- Don't make unilateral concessions. Whenever you give something
away, get something in return. Always tie a string: "I'll do this if
you do that." Otherwise you are inviting the other negotiator to ask
you for more.
- Brodow's Law: Always be willing to walk away! Never negotiate
without options.
If you depend too much on the positive outcome of a negotiation, you
lose your ability to say "no." Clients often ask me, "Ed, if you could
give me one piece of advice about negotiating, what would it be?" My
answer, without hesitation, is: "Always be willing to walk away."
You can go pretty far with these basic ideas. If you want to dig
deeper, consult my negotiation products, or -- better yet -- book me
to speak at your organization's next meeting or convention.
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