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Dealing with Difficult People:
the Idealist
True idealists make up only about
1/10th of the population, which you may think is a good
thing if you're the hard-driven, nose-to-the-grindstone,
bottom-line type.
Like other "difficult" types, they can make fantastic
contributions to your relationship or organization if you
understand how to deal with them and their lack of
practicality.
"educationally they go for the humanities, avocationally
for ethics, &
vocationally for personnel work." They're people who
are
guided by ideals, and are more interested in ideas than
practical action. This can make them both slow out of the
gate, and agitators if they thing something is
"wrong."
1. THEY WILL FERRET OUT UNETHICAL BEHAVIOR.
Therefore, if you intend to hire one, you'd better have your
ducks in a row and your ethics together (if you don't, why
don't you?).
On the other hand, if you have a multicultural or diversity
program to introduce, they would be the ones to do it, and
they'll also know who's mobbing, harassing and bullying
others.
2. TRANSLATE ABSTRACT TO CONCRETE FOR THEM.
They tend to be highly intelligent as well as intellectual
and abstract. This means they may know what they want, and
even how they'll get there (many are great strategists), but
be either unable to explain it to others, or too impatient.
Either trust them to accomplish what you ask them to do
their own way, or ask them specifically for step-by-step
methods.
3. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THEIR POWER OF INFLUENCE. THEY
AREN'T LIGHT-WEIGHTS.
Like many "difficult" types, they represent something
within
us all. Idealists appeal because they have a light that
shines. They're interested in a better world, after all,
and so are we, but who's got the time?
Consider Gandhi whose "nobly principled, highly
disciplined,
courageously ethical strategy of non-violent passive
resistance . eventually brought the British to their
knees."
(Source: Keirsey)
So keep the Idealist channeled and be watching your ranks.
If you're playing fast-and-loose, they'll be the one to
challenge it, and you'd rather have them coming to you than
just talking about it. If you can institutionalize such a
program - how things are done, and how people are treated -
the idealist would be ideal (smile) for this position. One
US insurance corporation has an ethics hotline, for
instance, and someone was put in charge of it. Perhaps an
idealist.
4. REDIRECT THEIR IDEALISM WHEN IT GETS IN THE WAY OF
DAY-TO-DAY FUNCTIONING.
Help them find a time and place for it. Empathize with the
feelings. Turn them back to the task.
5. DON'T PUT THEM IN POSITIONS SUCH AS QUALITY CONTROL
UNLESS YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
'PERFECT' AND 'GOOD ENOUGH' A MILLION TIMES.
6. ASSIGN THEM TEACHING AND MENTORING TASKS.
Their gentle personalities make them a natural at this.
They're usually excellent at cooperative goals
7. IF YOU GIVE THEM A MANAGEMENT TASK, REMIND THEM THEY
CAN'T JUST THINK OR SAY HOW IT SHOULD BE, AND SHOULD BE
DONE.
They will have to get people to do it -- human beings who
engage in human error, who may not want to, or don't
know how to.
In other words, it will involve getting their hands dirty.
8. LET THEM BE GO-BETWEENS.
If they understand the project and mission, they make
wonderful ambassadors and diplomats. They don't need to be
representing a nation, they'll do this with dignity and
excellence within your family and organization.
9. WHEN YOU ASK THEM SOMETHING, ADD AT THE END, 'AND
HOW
WOULD WE DO THIS IN PRACTICAL STEPS?'
Else they'll stay up in their head. Do NOT reward them for
perfectionism. Excellence, yes. Perfect? It's
only, well,
an ideal, yes?
10. KEEP THEM FROM DEVOTING AN UNDUE AMOUNT OF TIME TO
THE
UNDERDOG.
Unless that's their job, of course.
Let them know that's your job (or someone else's within your
organization or family). They're natural-born advocates,
making great coaches, lawyers, social workers, teachers, and
mediators.
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