"When I'm talking to Amanda," says her supervisor,
Kathleen, "she's jumping all over the place.  She's hyper,
bouncing up and down, talking a mile a minute.  I have to
turn into a kind of human pacifier to get her to settle down
enough to get some work done.  It's exhausting."

"Vicente's the best man I've got," says Sean, a CEO, "but
when he attends a meeting, it turns into a circus.  Hands
flying all over the place, dramatic gestures, throwing
papers around when he gets mad, storming out of the room
with a toss of that beautiful head.  He knows he's a show.
It's hard for me to keep the group focused.  It's
disruptive."

"All the world's a stage" to the Drama Queen (or King).
They seem to experience life in technicolor, while others
see it in black and white.

They demand attention, are comfortable with commotion, full
or energy (mental, physical and emotional), and are often
crisis-magnets.  They can drain your energy.

It's hard to get them to focus.  Following their train of
thought or emotions is like following a bouncing ball.  (Do
you want to be in this position?  No, you do not.)  They
perceive things to be very exciting and have trouble
screening out "external stimuli."  If you don't position
yourself correctly, you'll just be one of the many things
they're attempting to attend to.  They are prone to
exaggerate, and are especially difficult for left-brained
people who think in a linear, analytic way.

Asking them to "calm down" rarely works, because to their
mind, you should "rev up."  So here are some ways to avoid
being just their audience (and worn out at the same time).

1.  USE LIGHT, MINIMAL EYE CONTACT.

In a one-to-one situation, avoid anything that puts you in
the place of being a perceive audience.  Likewise, if you
stare at the display of tension-release (hands waving, knees
bouncing, nail biting) you'll become affected.  Eyes "focus"
us and you want to direct the focus.  Look at some other
part of their face (not into their eyes) or off to the side.
Better yet, have a written agenda and put it in front of you
on the desk and focus on that.  Actually point at it with
your finger.  You want the focus off YOU, or THEM, and onto
the SUBJECT and you do this by dealing with a concrete
object that represents the task, i.e., the piece of paper.

2.  USE NONVERBAL PACIFYING MEASURES.

Tone everything down.  The last thing you want to do is
agitate them any more than they already are.  Lower your
tone of voice, slow your speech, and make slow movements.
Calm your facial expression and offer reassurance from
time-to-time that "everything's alright."

Heck, dim the lights if you can and play Pachelbel's "Canon
Number 9" in the background from the CD "The Most Relaxing
Music in the Universe"!   For your benefit, if not for
theirs.

3.  PROVIDE STRUCTURE.

Let them vent for a minute or two, and enjoy it.  Then look
at your watch (a concrete representation of "time") and say,
"Well it's time to get down to business."

4.  MAKE IT TIME-LIMITED.

Whether socially or professionally, they can be draining, so
set time-limited activities.  "Let's meet for lunch at 1.  I
have to pick up the kids at 3, so I'll need to leave at 2:30
and that will give us plenty of time to visit."

5.  ALLOW FOR MOTOR RELEASE OF TENSION WHEN POSSIBLE.

(But remove things like coffee cups from the vicinity of
those moving limbs.)  Schedule a lunch meeting where you
have to walk several blocks to get to the restaurant.  They
talk better walking beside someone than in the typical
office situation - having to sit still and look at someone.

6.  REMOVE DISTRACTIONS.

If you need to conduct business, provide an agenda.  Refer
to it when things get off-track.  "Ok, that's good.  Now
let's move on to point 7."  Put the phone on DND.  You'll
have your hands full just with this person.  You don't need
more going on, and you need them focusing on the task as
much as possible.

7.  WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS.

These people need to be pinned in with simple "yes" or "no"
questions.

8.  ALLOW FOR IMPETUOSITY.

They can get carried away.  If you think they've made a
premature decision, back up and rephrase, saying, "Let's
rethink this a moment."  This allows them to collect their
thoughts and remove some of the emotion.  Hyperbole and
histrionics are part of their style.  Enjoy it, keep your
distance, and discount everything about 50%.

9.  TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Employ tactics that calm you when you're under the barrage.
Breathe deeply, look away or defocus your eyes, consciously
relax your muscles, be patient, don't try to "fix" anything.

10.  FOLLOW-UP IN WRITING.

After the meeting, send a written memo re: accountability.
Go over the main points.  Sometimes allow them to "get back
to you" on things.