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Time management tips and more

When you read books on personal development and articles
about making your life better the emphasis is generally on
the positive.

You learn all about deciding what you want and how to get
it. However you also need specific guidelines for dealing
with situations when nothing seems to be working despite
your best efforts.

One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that some
people will dislike you no matter how wonderful you are.

The reasons why someone does not like you may be incorrect,
unfair or unjust. Yet they still affect how that person
deals with you.

I recommend a three step plan to deal with this challenge:

1 Penetrate The Peer Group

Find the peer group of the person who dislikes you and seek
to make friends with people in this group. Build a positive
reputation with these people one at a time. And your public
image will shift in the eyes of the person who you are
having trouble with.

This is like doing your own P.R. campaign directly to the
people who have the most influence over the opinions of the
person who dislikes you. Peer group pressure is a powerful
way to change the perceptions of a group member.

2 Find Reasons To Like The Person

When someone clearly dislikes you what usually happens
next? You start to actively dislike that person in return!

It becomes a feeding frenzy that can spiral out of control
very quickly. The other person sees your negative reaction
to him and responds accordingly.

You feel and see how much disdain they have for you and you
respond with more hate. Like a game of tennis the negative
feelings bounce back and forth.

You can break this cycle. How?

By deciding to find ways to like the person. Here are two
ways to get started:

A. Make a quick list of things you like or could like about
this person.

Be creative. The more reasons the better.

B. List the ways the person is like you.

This may be an eye opener because we often have very strong
reactions to people who display characteristics we dislike
about ourselves.

The more reasons you come up with the easier it will be for
you to feel positive towards the other person. This change
in your non verbal communication will be noticeable and
will help ease some of the tension in the air.

This is often when the dynamics of the relationship can
shift unexpectedly for the better. Deciding to like the
other person regardless of how they are behaving is the
first step to making this happen.

At the very least you will feel better. And when you feel
better it is a lot easier to find solutions to deal with
these tricky situations.

3 Take Baby Steps Towards Greater Rapport

With someone who dislikes you the same rules of rapport
still apply only you need to have more patience.

Aim to make slight gradual progress with the person in
question and over time you can shift the relationship from
negative to neutral and maybe even to positive.

And be kind to yourself if the whole situation still upsets
you. It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable when
someone dislikes you. However it is foolish to roll over
and play dead.

Take charge of your communication with this person and aim
to improve the situation. The little progress you make will
boost your confidence and help you communicate even better